March 8th, 2010

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Something feels off about today, but I'm not sure I can properly articulate it at present. There's just something that's... iffy. Like something's coming or going or changing, but not a horrible thing, just...ehhh.

What? I said I couldn't articulate.

Whatever.

It's still really bothering me that I haven't latched onto a new project yet. I keep thinking "okay, I'm going back to X" or "yes, this new idea will work!" but, not so much once I sit down to write. I'm trying to force it, and that's not working. So now I'm trying to let it go, and just relax into the in-between, which isn't easy.

It could be that I've been thinking all wrong about my writing lately. Through a conversation with a friend, I had a sort of mini-epiphany. I realized that while I may go on and on about letting the character tell me where the story is going, that was not the genesis for the two projects I'd actually let someone read, Smashing, and The March Sisters Fall Apart, the novel I wrote for my thesis. Those two projects began with the idea first, not just some character babbling at me, which is what I think I was telling you all less than a week or so ago about how I begin.

So while I have dozens and dozens of other projects I've started, stopped and tossed about like Rowling's garden gnomes, what got me to a concrete project, a completed manuscript that I wrote and rewrote and revised, began with an idea. The character developed in them, rather than the story developing the in the character. I write so much that never goes anywhere that that said characters babbling at me feels like normal.

I don't know that this revelation will help me with a new project. I have lots of ideas I'm not sure I'm a good enough writer to work on. I want to do something that's not a coming-of-age novel right now, because I'm frustrated with the way all the YA projects I've been sort-of working on refuse to come together. I want something that's more 'X blows up a bus full of kids', then 'X learns some hard lessons and goes on to be a grown up.'

Okay, maybe no children will be harmed in whatever it is that I'm going to work on, but, something more action based.