January 4th, 2010

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In which things end and as usual, I gripe about my book

My time at Doll Heaven has come to an end, a fact which leaves me a little sad. I liked it there. And it sort of ended in an unresolved sort of way - they never said "You'll work until X date," they just didn't schedule me. I had asked about staying once I realized it was ending- I love the extra cash - but the answer I ultimately got was vague leaning toward no.

I would go back though. If a girl's gotta work retail, it might as well be with something that's fun to sell.

So it's a new year, and I'm hoping it'll be a great one.

Some things:

I am really quite tired today, but I think that may be because I had eight weeks of "go-go-go," and what I really need is some time to take better care of myself, read, write, exercise, all the usual stuff. I'm going to get on that.

I'm down to one agency having my manuscript - the only one with the full. Since she didn't ask for an exclusive, I'm starting to query again. I need to have some hope out there. Of the last 20 queries I sent out, I got 5 requests - 1 full, 4 partials - 4 "thanks but no," responses, and 11 no responses at all. I'd have been happier with a rejection email then hearing nothing. Having them would take away some of the unknown/lost-at-sea feeling.

And on that note, concerning the Book: I haven't really been happy with the feedback I've received lately. I have put so much into that book, I'm getting kind of bitter about the fact that it's not done yet. And so I'm not taking criticism very well, because I feel like the criticism I'm getting isn't backed up. If you want to tell me my characters are weak - show me where, don't just throw the comment out there. If you want to say, "I saw a few things" you have to say where and what you mean, because, frankly, this is year 5 on this project. I made my choices for what's there deliberately. I need to know exactly what you're thinking, with examples. And possibly flow charts and some sort of illustrated companion guide.

So this is all to say I'm making the classic workshop mistake - defending it as if I could do that to all readers. I won't be able to do that once the book is out in the world at large and I know that. I want to be able to put on my big girl pants and listen to the criticisms, but I'm close to my wit's end. I just want this book to be good. The fact that my friends aren't gushing over it is kind of disheartening. Gush damn it! My psyche needs the boost.